Saturday, December 29, 2012

Taking Down Christmas

Although all the physical evidence of Christmas was gone from my home on the day after Christmas (my usual de-decorating day), I am going to try really hard to keep that wonderful feeling that I have had in my heart and in my home for the new year.
Before I am completely done with Christmas this year I really wanted to share some of my favorite things about my Christmas.  There were so many really great things, it was hard to choose.  But, I do have some favorites.
First of all, because of two of my very clever grandchildren I was finally able to master my mom's recipe of her date roll candy.  Don't mean to brag, but it was perfect and it brought back sweet memories of Christmases of my youth.
Secondly, we had a wonderful Christmas day with our family, minus two children and their families, whom we missed so much, and our extended family.  And I received a most wonderful gift, a hand knitted pair of socks from my daughter-in-law's mother (she does beautiful work).  Along with the socks I got all the supplies that I will need to make my own socks.  Well, except for that prettily wrapped box with the much needed talent inside. But, I'm feeling confident that I can learn.....I'm not paying any attention to that "old dog, new tricks" saying.
Third and best of all we got the gift of a new grandchild.  A big, beautiful, and healthy baby boy, who looks just like his big brother....lucky boy.  Mother and son doing well!
So, now I am really and anxious to start a new year and do better then I did this year.  I love the feeling of being able to start all over again.
Post Script:
Icing on the cake:  Our lovely niece, whom we adore, is going on a mission and has been called to serve in the Arizona Tempe Mission, where she will be able to teach the people there in Spanish.  Congratulations Shelby, we love you.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

WC

I am a pretty simple woman with a pretty simple life, but every once in a while I like to change things up just a bit.
So, I was indulging in one of my favorite Christmas pastimes watching Christmas movies on Hallmark and Lifetime.  I was watching one movie where the family had a really pretty house, no, the family wasn't homeless in this particular movie.  The mother was coming down the stairs and I noticed that on the bathroom door was a pretty, oval shaped , silver plaque that simply had the initials WC on it.  I loved it!  After the movie was over I immediately got on the Internet and found an identical one on Amazon and ordered it.  Well, it came today and it is already gracing my bathroom door.
Now my husband is totally confused, he's wondering why we have  Winston Churchill's initials on our bathroom door.  I've decided just to let him keep wondering for awhile before I tell him what WC actually stands for.

Monday, October 15, 2012

Who Knew?

I feel compelled to share just two things with you tonight while I sit here in the den watching Hoarders.  First I am quite excited that The Walking Dead has finally returned to my big screen, yea!  Spoiler Alert:  the motley crew has found a new home!!!  So happy for them, now the baby can be born in the safety of a zombie infested, disgustingly filthy abandoned (well, sort of) prison.  I am so relieved.
The second thing, and Erin if you read this you may not believe this is true but it is, honest.  I created a power point   presentation on my computer, yes, it's true I really did.  I did this all by myself.  I am so totally computer illiterate, it's kind of embarrassing.  My 11 year old grandson had a school assignment for his history class to do a power point presentation and I wanted to be able to help.  So I got on my computer and pulled up microsoft office and started tapping keys and I'll be darned if I didn't actually make a fairly good power point presentation.  Anyway, I have been so proud of myself I have told everyone I meet about what I accomplished.  I'm not too sure Bob, the checker at the grocery store even cared, but the 3 people in line behind me seemed impressed.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Zap, You're Outta Here

My husband is retired so we have the luxury of doing things that we enjoy during the middle of the day.   I don't mean that exactly like it sounded, what I do mean is going places, eating out, and going to the movies.
So, there was a movie that was starting on Friday that I had been looking forward to.  It was a scary movie, and I love scary movies, my husband not so much.  But he was nice enough to go with me on the promise that he could choose next time.
You know we are getting older so we like to be home at night so we decided to go to the 4:30 movie.  I'm telling you right now that  was a big mistake.  School gets out at around 3:30, maybe you can guess the rest, but I'll tell you anyway.
Scary movies are popular with teenagers and teenagers hang out in packs, big packs.  We walk into the theater and it is packed with teens, young teens.  You could hardly hear yourself think it was so loud in there.  And I am dreading our decision to go to the early movie.
As a result of sitting in our seats listening to very interesting and loud teenage conversation my husband came up with an invention.  Here it is.
When a theater is playing a movie that will, most likely, be popular with teenagers, every adult that goes into that same theater is handed a keypad.  You sit.  On the backs of every seat in the theater is a number and in your hand is the key pad with those numbers. It's best if you, as an adult, sit in the last row.  Every time during the movie that those cute little teens get out of hand you press their seat number button and they get a little zap.  If they are a little dense and keep up the noise you zap them again, it's a little more intense this time.  Okay, this is their last chance, the third zap.  Now their bums are really tingly.  The very last press of the button, the usher comes and escorts them out.
In all fairness, the movie wasn't very good and the young man in front of me very sweetly turned around before the movie started and told me that he promised they would quiet down before the movie began.  They were true to their word, they were all very well behaved during the movie.
Their behavior caused us to think twice before we sought a patend for our new invention.  We think we'll wait awhile, actually those teenagers are pretty good kids.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

PB and J, Uncencored

I grew up in a racist household.  I didn't know that I was being raised by racist parents.  But this weekend that sad truth came out.  Please understand that there was never a derogatory word spoken about anyone who was different than we were, whether they were different in size, shape, or color.  As a matter of fact, I remember very well when I was a very young girl, getting my mouth washed out with soap for using the "N" word.  I didn't even really know what it meant, I just knew that it was a bad word and I was very angry with my sister.

The thing that makes us racists is the fact that we ate, and still do, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on white bread.  This is what a principal from an elementary school in Oregon told us on Friday.   I didn't get to hear what she thought was racist about eating PBandJ (I had the flu, I was busy throwing up).  And I probably would have just thrown up my hands and turned off the tv anyway.

I, personally, think that PBandJ is the best sandwich ever.   Not to even mention  the fact that peanut butter was invented by an African American (sorry, I can't remember his name but I sure have a good supply of his invention in my pantry).

My point is, I think, that stupid people say stupid things.  I think many people have forgotten that old adage to think before you speak.  We would all be a little better off if we all remembered that.

Friday, September 7, 2012

Money Doesn't Buy Happiness, But it Does Buy Dance Lessons

I raised my children at a time when, at least to me, the world seemed so much easier.  It was a kinder place, not as many things to worry about.  That may  be just my perception, but I liked it.  Being a stay at home mom was my choice and I feel really fortunate that it was a choice that was mine to make.  I worked outside the home at several different periods in my life when my husband had been laid off from a couple of different jobs, but I always knew that it wasn't permanent.  And I have always said that you can do anything if you know you don't have to do it forever and I knew that I didn't.  I did go to work full time when my children were older and I enjoyed it, but, again, it was my choice.
I have tremendous respect for moms who do work outside the home.  Essentially they are working two jobs, full time.  And the job of raising children is not an easy one.  I know that not every woman is able to, or even wants to, stay at home full time.  Believe me, I get that.   And in this very difficult economy you have to do what you have to to.  Take my daughter and her husband for instance.
My daughter, Rachel and her husband both have college degrees, as a matter of fact my son-in-law has a Masters degree.  They are both teachers.  Rachel quit her job several years back to stay at home with their three beautiful girls and my son-in-law went to work  teaching school.  I don't understand how the hierarchy of the teaching profession works, but he was let go and a teacher who was out of a job and in the district much longer than he was given his job.  Since that time, after applying nearly everywhere, he was still not having any luck.  He is a special ed. teacher and there seems to be more teachers than there are jobs.
So, finally after losing her job as an administrator at an extreme sports boarding school that went defunct, Rachel was able to get a job at as a high school English teacher.

Now, here is the story I was leading up to after this very long introduction....sorry!

It was the day before my daughter was to start her new job.  Her 4year old daughter was a little miffed that her mom was going to be gone all day, she loves spending time with her mom.  She knew that her dad would be there, but as far as she is concerned, there is no one who can take her place.  This is the conversation that ensued the "Day Before"...

Jane;   Why do you have to go to work?
Mom: Because we need money to buy things.
Jane:  What do we have to buy?
Mom: We need to pay for our house.
Jane:  We don't need a house, we can live with Grandma and Grandpa,
Mom:  We need to buy food.
Jane:  We have lots of food in the cupboards.
Mom: We need to buys clothes.
Jane:  I don't need clothes.
Mom:  We need money to buy your toys.
Jane:  I don't need anymore toys, I have enough.
Mom:  We need money to pay for yours and your sisters dance lessons.
Jane:  We already know how to dance and we can dance at home.

Having run out of things that money can buy, Rachel gave up, but Jane had the last word.

Jane:  Folding her arms and stomping off to her bedroom, these are her final words, " Well, in  my opinion, you have my a very bad decision, you should have thought about it a little harder".



Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Holy Cow, Indeed!

Yup, holy cow!  I haven't talked to my sister yet this week, but she has a wonderful blog that I check out to keep up to date just in case we don't get a chance to talk.  So, I'm lamenting about the start of my day, which I will share with you in a moment, when I read her blog and find out that my niece had her appendix out yesterday.  Holy Cow, what else can I say.  Their summer has been one thing, not good thing, after another. 
So I am going to share with you how my day got started.  Except now that I have put it into perspective the start of my day isn't bad at all.  I got up at around 7:00, which is late for me, I get a load of laundry started and hop in the shower.  While in the shower I am thinking about the things that are going on in my life, none of them really bad, just busy.  I get out of the shower, still with a lot of stuff on my mind, dry off and get dressed.  I'm also thinking about going to get my hair cut this afternoon, which I always dread because my little Colombian hairdresser talks more than my husbands side of the family combined.  All I want is a haircut, darn it.
Off track, sorry.  So I am dressed and I brush my hair.  When my hair starts to grow out there is always a little cowlick that I have to contend with, so normally I just spritz a little hairspray on.  This time, because I am thinking of other things. I grab the spray can closest to me and spray it on the top of my hair.  OOPS, my hair is purple.  I take a closer look at the can and realize that I have just sprayed Kaboom on my hair.  Now the up side is that Kaboom turns white when the surface is clean so my hair didn't stay purple for long.  Still, I had to hop back in the shower and wash my hair again.
But I'm thinking, now, that no one in my house is sick right now, no one is in jail, no one is lost in a foreign country and I don't owe the IRS.  So, I'm off to a good start and I am NOT complaining about anything, at least today.

Thursday, May 31, 2012

My "New" Flintstone Chair

I have mentioned my wonderful WSU chair before.  I love it and it cost me a whopping $5.00.  And we carted it all the way from Idaho to boot.  This chair has a special place in my heart.
BUT...I bought a new sofa on Saturday, it's red and my plum chair just didn't match so I needed to change it's color.  It went from red to plum with the help of fabric paint, but I'm thinking, boy, I'm going to need an awful lot of fabric paint and that can get pretty expensive, may as well buy a new chair, right?
But, the lightbulb came on soooo brightly....I know what I'll do.  I'll paint it with acrylic spray paint.  Ever used acrylic spray paint on fabric furniture?  Don't.  Because now I have a yellowish red, rock hard Fred Flintstone chair.  It is not a pretty sight, and my bum hurts from trying to sit on it.

Friday, May 18, 2012

Relax, Pick Up a Paintbrush

Steve and I went for a drive this morning.  We had to go to Walker Basin.  Walker Basin is about an hour and a half from where we live.  He needed to make a couple of paint bids.  I enjoy going with him, I'm always up for a drive.

Now Walker Basin is really pretty, but it also reminds me a little bit of, you know, that banjo movie where the men are floating down the river?  It'll come to  me.  Let's just say, I wouldn't want my car to break down in Walker Basin.  But, at least I always have my pepper spray handy, although it is about 15 years old.  Will it still work, do you think?

Okay, my sister just old me, the movie is Deliverance.  Well, I feel better.

Anyway, on the way home I saw the best thing.  And if I was brave, or forward enough I would have stopped and taken a picture.  My husband is a painter so he really appreciated this scene.

Now, picture this.....Walker Basin is filled with all sorts of houses, but a lot of them are old, run down places that may possibly have been old mining shacks.  As we approach the property there is a man doing some yard work, he looks kind of old.  At the other end of the property is a woman sitting in a white plastic chair.  She's sitting in front of a run down fence and she's talking on the phone.  On closer inspection she's also doing something else.  She has a paintbrush in her other hand, painting the fence.  Now why can't Steve paint sitting down while he's talking to me on the phone.....it can be done, I've seen it.

Don't you love people who can multitask?

Monday, May 14, 2012

The Happiest Place on Earth

Hi.  Two things.  First, Steve and I went to Las Vegas this weekend for Mother's Day.  We had the best time.  I may have mentioned before that we don't do the "normal" Las Vegas things.  Although we do play the penny slots, we limit ourselves to $20.00 altogether.  Sometimes it's 10 minutes of fun, sometimes, like this weekend, it is more like 2 hours of fun.  We won a little and to us if we win $10 we are thrilled.  So we took our winnings, went to dinner, to the movies and went shopping.  We don't do the normal shopping either.  We love to go to Deseret Insdustries.  I found a chair, $12.00 and perfect for my bedroom.  Tell me, how much more fun can you have than that?

Now, the second thing.  We come home from our very fun weekend and we don't have any food or toilet paper in the house, so I'm off to do errands.  Actually I already did my errands, but I want to tell you about my morning running from store to store.  I won't bore you (if I haven't already) so I'll skip most of the details.  But everywhere I went I ran into friends, some friends I knew and some I didn't, but they all seemed like friends today.  Everyone was chatty and friendly, right down to the grungy looking teenage boy who held the door open for me and told me to have a great day.  He may have been skipping school, I don't know, but his mom taught him good manners!  Anyway, my whole running errands experience today reaffirmed that Disneyland is a poor second to my happiest place on earth!

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Beautiful View

I love where I live, it's beautiful.  We have a fantastic view of the valley down below us and of the wonderfully blue lake.  It's not a big lake but it sure is nice to look out on.

I woke up this morning at 6 am and looked out my kitchen window and there were two young deer, close enough to touch.  They were nibbling on my trees, but as long as they don't make a habit of that, I don't mind too much, at least they weren't my fruit trees.

My husband and I were out spraying the weeds yesterday and I was checking out our fruit trees.  I am not a gardener.  I plant one every year and I'm not sure what goes wrong between the planting and the reaping....there actually is no reaping.  It's a good thing I have children who plant great gardens.  Anyway as I was looking at the fruit trees I noticed itty bitty little fruit.  I am so excited, our peach tree hasn't had peaches in years and this is the first time for our cherry tree.


Now all I have to do is keep the critters away long enough so we can enjoy the "fruit of our labors".  Wish me luck.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

He's Never, Ever..........

I just finished reading my sisters blog.  I had talked to her earlier today.  And after reading and talking to her I started feeling like a bad person.  She has taken into her home a little six year old boy whose parents had all but abandoned him.  She gives him a stable home, which he probably knows little of.  She treats him as if he was one of her own, which means she also has to discipline him.  Well, apparently, he doesn't like that she is the disciplinarian in the family so he keeps trying to "get her in trouble" with her husband, who is very kind hearted and trying to make this little boy feel like he has a home. 

This little six year old has thrown things at my sister and has been quite disrespectful to her.  Yet, she keeps on trying.

After I finished reading her blog I began to feel a little bit better about myself.  We also have taken in someone who never has known a stable home, who feels abandoned and left alone in this world.  We wanted to give him a stable home where he would feel secure.  Well the first few days he was so well behaved and so affectionate.  We were one big happy family.

That lasted just a week or so.  I guess when someone starts to feel very comfortable, their true personality comes out.  So, now he is pooping on the floor and taking my slippers and hiding them.  That's not all.  Every time I get out of my chair while watching tv, he thinks it's okay to curl up in my spot.  Who does he think is the one who cleans up his poop and tries to make him behave?  Well, he doesn't like that very much so he has made my husband his favorite.  Who does he think feeds him and gives him treats when he is good?I do, that's who.  My feelings are a little hurt, but that's okay.  I'm still going to try to make him behave.  After all, he's only a dog and he may not know it, but I am his master.

But, I have to tell you.  He is sooo cute and I do know that he loves me despite his poor behavior.  So, of course we will keep him and keep working on his manners.  After all, he's only a dog, right?

By the way, as a footnote:  my husband went to the SPCA looking for a playmate for our coon hound.  There was a woman there trying to bring back this particular dog because her "daughter was allergic".  (Why did she bring the dog home in the first place is what I want to know...).  They would not give her back her money, but my husband was nearby and the SPCA lady said "this gentleman is looking for a dog just like that, maybe you two can come to some sort of agreement".  My husband thought, "wow, this must be my lucky day".

The woman returning the dog for a "refund" told my husband that this was the best dog that they had ever owned.  Now, how could they have owned other dogs if her daughter was so allergic?  I think, perhaps, that statement was not actually heard by my husband. He was already enamoured by the dog.  "This dog has NEVER gone to the bathroom in the house", says she.    All I can say is BIG FAT LIAR, and no, that is not too strong of a word to describe her.

Okay, now that's off my chest, I feel better.  He is actually a very sweet dog and we have already come to love him.  But he has to stop using my front door as his own personal bathroom.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Happy, Happy, Happy

Why am I so happy, you ask?  Well, let me tell you.....it's because I picked up a package from the post office yesterday ( I would have preferred to receive it from  my UPS friend, but, oh well).

Guess what it was!  Yes, finally after all these months of waiting and anticipation my Sticky Buddy is here.  And not only one, but two sets of Sticky Buddies. 

My husband came home and saw the big box on the kitchen table and asks me why I haven't opened it yet, "aren't you curious after all this time?"  he asks me.  Well, of course I am, but I am the type of person who thrives on the anticipation of an event.  And this definitely qualifies as an event.

So after I finish watching Cupcake Wars I go get my box and open it.  Oh My Goodness, it's all I had hoped for.  I unwrap one and immediately go to the chair where the dog and cat love to lay.  I run that Sticky Buddy over the seat of the chair and on the arms and the sides and the back..  No  more animal hair, hallelujah!!

So, I think I will test it on other things, like the quarters that they use in the commercial.  I dump my purse on the table and all my pennies fall out.  What the heck happened to all my quarters?  Oh yeah, the donut shop.  Well, I'll just have to test it on pennies.  I spread the pennies out on the table and run my little Buddy over them and magically they all disappear onto the roller of the Sticky Buddy.

I am in heaven, this is fantastic. So as I wander around  my house today doing some housework I am keeping my eyes open for anything else that I don't want to touch and pick up.  Because I have my trusty Sticky Buddy who is going to do all the work for me.

To the inventor of the Sticky Buddy, whoever you are, I love you.  Oh, and it's so easy, anyone can use it.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Utterly Perfect Ssssss?

I want to tell you about the second love of my life.  He a little bit mysterious.  There are times when I don't even see him come to my house, but when I do my heart thrills with anticipation.  He never comes without bringing a gift for me, how thoughtful is that?  I don't always know that he's coming, sometimes he just shows up.  I knew he was coming yesterday so I must have gone to the back door at least a dozen times to see if he had been here.  Disappointed filled my being each time that I went and didn't see evidence of his visit.  But, alas, my husband comes home and tells me joyfully (he knew I was looking forward to the visit from my second love, so he was happy for me) that "he came".  In Steve walks with my package from the UPS man.  Now, I don't know his name, I just call him my UPS god. He hasn't been to see me as often as before, I'm blaming the economy.  But when he does come, it makes me happy all day.  Yes, my second love is the UPS man and Steve is good with that as long as whatever the UPS man brings me didn't come out of his wallet.  (The Ssss in my title, sorry, just wasn't clever enought to think of an s word).

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

High Intelligence?

This morning I was in the kitchen watching tv and making cookies.  I was worrying about not being able to finish the cookies before I had to take Ty to school.  I just wasn't sure that my timing would work out.  Then what would I do, just leave the cookies to burn in the oven while I was gone?  That was really not an option.  I wanted to go get donuts after I dropped Ty off at school.  But then I remembered that they were delivering propane today.  Would I be able to get to town for a donut run and get back in time for the propane guy?  I just didn't know, I worried that I would miss him and then he wouln't be able
 to come back until next week.  We need propane NOW.  Shoot, propane or donuts.  Well, it was really a no brainer.  I could probably get to Carlos' Donut Shop and back before propane guy got to the house.....I think.  I was worried that perhaps I couldn't.  What to do?  To top it all off we are having  company over for dinner.  I was worried about what to make for them.  What if they didn't like what I made, what if they were vegans or they were lactose intolerant?  One more thing to worry about.  BUT....then as I was listening to the tv they were telling about a study that had been done.  This study said that worry was directly related to intelligence,  that people who worried were generally more intelligent.   I started feeling pretty good about myself.  They continued.  They said that there was help out there for worriers.  The "help" is called acceptance and commitment therapy.  Okay, I'm halfway there.  I accept that I worry....about everything.  And I am totally committed.  Committed mostly go figuring out a way to have my donuts and manage my time.  I am thinking, however, that my worry has less to do with intellegence that with my love for sweets.

Swearing is in the Mind of the Beholder

The other day I was at the elementary school picking up my grandson when I ran into a friend.  She was there picking up her 5 year old.   We exchanged pleasantries and then she told me that she was thinking of putting a disclaimer on her facebook page.  So, this is getting interesting.  This woman is one of the nicest, most genuine people I know.  I'm very anxious to hear what she has to disclaim, and then she tells me.  On Sunday in her daughter's Primary class they were talking about using bad language, swearing.  And  how it was bad.  Well, she told the entire Primary that her mom swears all the time (Idon't think she has even ever said the word crap).  Of course my friend was aghast, she has never used a swear word in her entire life and she tells her daughter that.  This is how her daughter responded....."but mom, you swear all the time,  you are always saying I swear".  As relieved as my friend was, still the entire Primary thinks that she swears like a sailor.

Monday, April 16, 2012

He Needs ME

My heart is still thumping, I think my face is still a little flushed.  I just got off the telephone.  Mitt called me.  Yes, I said Mitt.  I don't think a last name is needed.  He wanted to talk to me.  He told me that he needed me.  No, not just my money, which I don't have anyway.  When I told him that I just couldn't contribute to his campaign he didn't just hang up on me.  He told me that if I was unable to contribute that there were many other ways that I was needed.  Can you believe that?  I didn't know what to say.  But by the time I gathered my wits, he had hung up.  Actually, I don't even remember him responding to any of my questions or comments.  Well,  I guess he's just so busy.  You know, gotta get down to work and all that.  I'm hoping that next time he calls me that we can have a nice little chat.  I do have a lot of suggestions.

Monday, April 9, 2012

Instructions?

Saturday was a busy day for me, but I still needed to make a dessert for Easter dinner.  At my house you could skip dinner altogether if you have a great dessert.
On Saturday we spend a good part of the day at our son's house helping him with the baby while he was finishing putting floors down, hoping to get them done before his wife got home from work that night.  When we got home we began to frame out our new laundry room.  We are not carpenters, no where near that, so you can imagine that it took us a very long time to get one small wall up.  But, up it is, yea!  The level even says it's straight (that's a new one for us).
So it was pretty late when I decided to make dessert.  And I decided to change what I was making.  I was going to made pineapple upside down cake, but opted for this really yummy looking pound cake.  After all I had strawberries and real whipped cream to go with it.
I checked, I had all the ingredients.  It was 10:00 p.m. when I got everything out of the cupboards and put them on the counter.  I decided that it would help me save time.  I glanced at the recipe and it told me, I swear it really did, that after I got all the ingredients mixed the way they told me to that it would take 45 minuted to bake.  Deep down I knew that was not nearly long enough, but I was too tired to worry about it and hoped that I just got lucky with the recipe.
So, I get it in the tube pan and put it in the oven and decide to check the recipe one more time.   Oh shoot.  bake for 45 minutes......THEN over it with foil and cover it for 45-60 more minutes.  Okay, well I could still get to bed by midnight. 
So I stay up til midnight and am finally able to take the cake out of the oven.  Better read those instructions one more time, just to be sure.
Well, bedtime has been pushed back  by about another hour and a half.  I have to take the cake out, let it sit for 20 minutes, then run the knife around the edges, let it sit another 20 minutes.  And then finally, I get to take the cake out of the pan.....except I can't get it out of the pan without it falling apart.  It was a very dense cake.  So now I have to let it cool completely before I cover it.   That takes a little more than 30 minutes.
Yea!  Finally, after falling asleep at the computer, I get to go to bed.
Only thing is, now I can't seem to fall asleep.
But, at least the consensus was that the cake was worth it.  It really was good.

Trash Bag Memories

Yesterday was Easter, I have loved Easter since I was a little girl.  My sister wrote in her blog about the Easters we had when we were little girls.  They were probably the beginning of all of my holiday memories and the reasons why I wanted to make wonderful holiday memories for my children.
We sat around the table yesterday after church and after dinner, remembering the Easters that we all shared with extended families years ago.  Normally we went to  my older sisters house, she has three boys.  We would all pitch in with dinner and then of course the kids had their Easter egg hunt.  Yesterday after everyone left I brought out the old pictures and was enjoying the memories of those hunts.  The kids all had their baskets and ran like crazy all around the yard trying to find as many eggs as they could.  Some of them would find one egg and sit, open the egg, eat the candy and then go looking for their next treasure. 
After the Easter egg hunt the kids would eat as much of the candy that they could before parents were telling them to put it away for now.  The hard boiled eggs didn't usually get eaten right away.  Those were saved for later in the day to be hidden again in the house for the kids to find again.  By the time the eggs had been hidden and found several times no one really wanted to eat them, they were cracked and nasty looking.  But those kids had FUN.
My almost 12 year old granddaughter has a friend who is about the same age.  She comes from a family of six children.  I think the first three children were a bit of a disappointment to their mother so in effect she just seemed to give up on mothering when the youngest came along.
Yesterday at church my granddaughter and her friend were sharing the events of the morning with each other.  Emma, my granddaughter, was telling her friend about the earrings that were in her basket.  Now I know that Emma no longer believes in the Easter Bunny, or Santa Claus, but she can't  quite bring herself to say it out loud.  What if by some really weird chance that they are real. Would she blow her chances of ever receiving Easter or Christmas gifts ever again?
Anyway, Emma's friend was telling her about her Easter "basket", which as it turns out was really an Easter trash bag.  She got all the neat stuff but it was all shoved into a trash bag.  Emma didn't know quite what to say, her friend told her that she had always gotten her Easter candy and gifts in a trash bag.
Now, when  my daughter told me about this it made me incredibly sad.  I'm sure that Emma's friend didn't care one way or another because that's all she ever had.  And it probably didn't make her sad.  And let me clarify, the trash bag wasn't a money issue.  I don 't believe that money is a problem in their household.  I think it is an "I'm done with all the holiday trappings",so to speak, issue.
When my children where young we tried to make every holiday special because we wanted them to have those memories, memories that included the family we spent the holiday with.  And to me, what a wonderful way to start an Easter Sunday,with the gift of an Easter basket.  Kind of a reminder of the gift that was given to each of us.  A gift of love and sacrifice.
Well, anyway, I feel pretty confident that my children and my grandchildren will always have wonderful memories of holidays spent together with family that loves them.  I don't want trash bag memories for my family.

Monday, April 2, 2012

Shelby

First of all, my apologies to my beautiful niece Shelby.  I'm sorry you share the same name as Shelby from Ax Men.  Believe me when I tell you that the two of you have NOTHING in common.
But, thank you Ax Man, Shelby, for supplying me with my favorite quote of my tv viewing evening.  Sure hope I can get the spelling correct:
"Disbranded crazone donegit holdasumpin"      Shelby, Ax Men
Just a little background on Shelby in case you don't watch Ax Men; another of my favorite reality tv shows.  Shelby works in Louisiana in the bayou dredging big dead trees that he sells.  He rarely works alone, thanks to his dozens of cousins who work with him.  However, the same cousin never seems to work with him twice.  His cousins are a little, I guess you could say, odd. 
There is a man that Shelby says is former Special Forces who seems to be poaching Shelby's trees.  He tried to kill Shelby, yes, I mean really kill him, last week with a bow and arrow.  He barely missed his head.  Tonight he threatened Shelby with a machete.  Well, it turns out that crazy guy is another of Shelby's cousins.  Go figure.

Do It Yourself, Part ll

I don't really know what gets into me.  I love do it yourself projects.  Buried deep in my brain I know that I am not that great at DIY projects but that just never seems to stop me.  Please, someone stop me.  I wonder, sometimes, why my husband doesn't try to stop  me from doing these crazy things.  He either has a lot of faith in me or it's just not worth the effort to try to talk me out of it.
So, with the help of my husband I started another project.  We are remodeling our master bathroom, making it a little smaller so we can add space to the laundry room.  I've always wanted a larger laundry room, as opposed to the laundry closet I have not.  But it cinched the deal when I was watching Celebrity House Hunt the other day.
Shannon Dougherty was looking for a larger home for her family and one of the houses that she looked at (they were all in Malibu, I'm a far cry from Malibu!) had her ideal laundry room.  According to Shannon, she loves doing laundry.  Well,  I don't love doing laundry but I also don't love butting up against the laundry room door every time I load the washing machine.  The laundry room she fell in love with was about the size of my entire house.  It had two sets of ultra modern washers and dryers and an entire wall of neat looking lockers, a big table for folding and a gift wrap station, among many other things.  I think they may have been a McDonalds franchise in there too, I can't be sure.
Well, Steve and I did the part of the renovation that we are the best at...tearing down walls.  We starting looking at the framing we would have to do, the ceiling in there is slanted and very high.  Then we looked at the plumbing, I don't do plumbing and believe me when I tell you that Steve doesn't either.  We began to doubt our ability.  And since our local (very odd) handyman moved away we had to decide if we should diy or call a professional.  We voted on the professional.
Steve has a friend who is a general contractor, he's pretty expensive, but he's all we had.  So he comes over and looks at our job and gives us some great ideas about adding a closet too.  Boy, I'm glad we called him.
We know that he is going to cost us a little more than we wanted to spend, but I really don't want walls falling down in the middle of the night so we decided to go with it.
Now, the good part is......he rescued a cat at one of his jobs and he and his wife have been caring for it.  But, alas, they are allergic so they have been trying unsuccessfully to find her a home (not his wife, but the cat).  So, Steve and I look at each other because we are thinking the very same thing, it's scary sometimes.  We figure if we offer to take the cat off of his hands he will feel obligated to give us a little discount.
Now, we really don't know yet if he actually will because he hasn't even given us a price for the job yet, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed.  And no matter what he charges us at least I can sleep at night knowing that the job didn't get done "good enough" (Steve's motto), but it gone done professionally and right.

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Chocolate Covered Jelly Beans

I have a major sweet tooth, it's the reason that I fight with my weight constantly.  And I love holiday candies.  You know those candies that you anticipate all year long.
Easter time has always brought the best candy to the stores and, ultimately, to my various hiding places in my kitchen.  I don't share well with others...another one of  my faults.
Well, this year I have discovered a new favorite.  First of all let me tell you, I am not a big fan of jelly beans.  I do love the black ones, black licorice anything is something I love.  But this year, you may want to sit down for this, they have chocolate covered jelly beans.  I have only just discovered them.  Please don't tell me that they have been around forever.  The jelly beans actually taste all the same, which is fine with me.  But they are made so much tastier covered in chocolate.
You know, I don't even care if they have been around forever, I'm just happy that I have finally discovered them for myself.  You really need to try them, they are great.  The ones that I found are made by Ferrara, yum!
I haven't tasted the Jelly Belly ones, but I can't imagine them tasting any better.
The only complaint I have about Easter candy is that they put it out into the stores way too soon.  I have found out that you really can OD on Russell Stovers Marshmallow Eggs.

Grandma's Little Helper

Steve and I have the best "every other weekends".  That's when we get to watch our youngest grandchild while his parents are at work.  He is so much fun and so smart.  Aiden is 11 months old and is the happiest little guy I have ever known. 
Yesterday I was emptying out the dishwasher.  The first thing I always do is take out the silverware basket...and now I'm glad that I do.  I turned my back to put the basket on the counter by the silverware drawer and this is what I saw when I turned back around.

New Background

THANK YOU ERIN!!!!  I didn't even send her any cookies yet.  She's the best.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Again, I Can Do That

I love my girls.  Of course I love my boys too, but there is no way they could help me with anything computer related.
For a while now I have been trying to change the background to my blog.  And, as usual, I thought to myself, I can do that.  Because, really you can do anything if you put your mind to it, right?  Wrong.   While that is always my mindset, deep down I know it's not true.  But I keep telling myself that exact thing.
So. after many failed attempts I do what I always do....call my daughter.  She's very computer savvy and I do know that she really can do it.
Well, it took her awhile to undo all the mess that I created.  But she did it, just like I knew she would.
After we hung up I got on my blog to check it out.  I don't really like it, but there is no way in heck that I'm going to tell her that.  After all I'm the one who chose it and let her do all the work.  So I've decided to wait a few weeks and give her another call.  In the meantime, I'm going to the German bakery in town and buy some of her favorite cookies and send them to her.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Storybrook, Maine

I really enjoy television.  And one the my favorites is a new show on this season called "Once Upon a Time".  If you have ever seen it you will know all about Storybrook, Maine and their mayor, Regina.  Regina is from another time, she's actually the wicked queen who wants Snow White dead.
This last episode Mayor Regina, aka wicked queen, said something that gave me pause.  "Everyone has a dark side" says the evil queen.  And who would know better than she?  Rumpelstiltskin even said, "there's not cure for what she's got".  He wasn't actually referring to the evil queen, but it seemed to fit her so well.
So I started to think about my dark side, I don't really like to think I have a dark side but I think the queen was right.  I thought I'd share my dark side with you, so here it goes.
1.  I actually celebrate when Oprah gains back the weight she bragged so much about losing.  I delight in her "fatness".   I know that's mean, but I can't seem to help myself.
2.  I covet my neighbors beach house.  As far as I know my neighbor doesn't really have a beach house, but if she did I would covet it for sure.  I know that's a sin, I'm working on it.
3.  I'm not that crazy about other peoples children.  I never did enjoy tending them.  I guess I don't really not like them, I just don't want to have to be with them for any length of time.
4.  Bunny rabbits...they are cute and all but they are also poopy.  I like to look at them but I sure don't want one for a pet.  The only rabbit I'm really crazy about is the Easter bunny and only because he brings Reese Peanut Butter Eggs.
5.  I love Walmart, but I get terribly impatient with the other people who are shopping there at the same time I am.  Sometimes I actually want to run my cart into someone.  Now, I know that's really mean and I have never actually done it but the feeling is still there.
That's my short list, I could go on but you get the idea.  Now, you may say that you don't have a dark side and I certainly won't dispute that, at least to your face, but I think you are only fooling yourself.  I know one of the nicest people in the world and believe it or not, she has a dark side too.  I think we should embrace our dark sides, otherwise we would all be perfect and perfectly boring.

Monday, March 19, 2012

"I remember everything about you.  You're the one who wasn't paying attention"   Peeta, Hunger Games

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Commercial Pitch

I have an idea for a commercial----here it is, let me pitch it to you.
This is going to sell hamburgers like hot cakes, guaranteed.
First we find ourselves a cute little old lady, kind of a granny type of woman.  You know, like the granny in the Sylvester and Tweetie Bird cartoons, only real.  You know, human.
You put granny in a purple velour running suit, the kind that old ladies wear, but don't run in.  They are old ladies, after all.  Sit granny on the hood of a Lincoln Town car, or maybe a big ole pink Cadillac.  My family had one of those once, but that's another story for another time.  Have her drape herself provocatively across the hood.  Hand her a big juicy hamburger and watch as the juices drip down her considerably crinkly chin while she takes huge bites out of it.
Now tell me, does that make you want to run out to your local fast food chain and indulge in a big juicy burger, or what?
What do you think, winner?

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Spider Web or Icicle


Oh my goodness,  it is freezing here today and I just walked out onto our deck to check the thermometer to see what the temperature was.  On my way back into the house I saw what could have been an enormous, intricately designed spider web that has been there since last summer or a beautiful but life threatening icicle.   In my heart of hearts I know it is a spider web, but for now I'm going to call it an icicle because actually it is an icicle spider web.  Whatever it is I'll take care of it when everything defrosts.

Please Fogive Me

I'm a Libra.  Now I know that doesn't excuse some of my rather annoying traits, but perhaps it explains some of them.  I am not a real believer in astrology, but the description of a Libra pretty much describes me.
I feel like I am that person holding those weights in each hand trying to balance them.  I do not like discord, I want everyone to get along and be happy, dang it.

I do not like to do the unpleasant tasks, not like cleaning the litter box, I do that.  The tasks I don't like to do are, for example, cancel our auto insurance because we found a better deal.  I had to do that last week and the guilt still weighs heavily on me.

I felt like I was apologizing for running over someones dog, even though the person on the other end of the phone was perfectly nice and understanding.  I felt like I had disappointed him because I no longer wanted his insurance.  I know it's not his insurance company and he could probably care less that I was cancelling, but the guilt just took over like an evil spirit possessing my body.

I'm never going to be the one the cancel anything again, lest I should hurt someones feelings. I'm going to leave that to my more thick skinned husband.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Clear As Glass

I woke up this morning, looked out my bedroom window and was thrilled to see the sun shining (I got up a little later than usual today).  I love sunshine, especially in the middle of winter.

As the day went on I started to notice that it was a little dark in my house and was disappointed that the clouds must have come out and hidden the warm sun. 

Well, I went about my business cleaning floors and lots of other things around my house when I got the windex and paper towels out to clean some windows.  And it dawned on me that the opaque  windows in my french doors in the living room weren't suppose to be opaque.  I'm sure I noticed at one time that they were clear, at least I think I did.  No, I'm pretty sure they were suppose to be clear.  Hence the darkened room. 

Now let me explain to you why my clear windows are opaque or, if you demand accuracy.....dirty.

We have a hundred pound hound dog who thinks he is one of our children.  He tries to sit in our laps, he begs for food and he definitely has attitude.  When I am cleaning the house I like for him to be outside, otherwise he is always under foot.  He would much rather be where the action is, inside with us.  So he literally knocks on the door with his paw.  Well, actually he scratches at the door very loudly.  And if that doesn't work he sits at the french doors with his nose pressed against the glass looking rather pathetic.  And if that doesn't work, he rubs his nose all over the glass panes.

I guess it's been a while since I cleaned that glass (I have to do it daily) so this afternoon it appeared that it was dark outside, when actually the sun was high in the sky and bright.

Now, this may be a slight exaggeration, but it just went to remind me that I either have to let the dog in the house or clean my doors much more often.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Those Were The Days

Steve and I went to the movies the other day to see a silly little movie that didn't get very good reviews.  Well, we don't always put too  much store in the reviews, we like what we like.  And, yes, this movie wasn't for everyone.  I think you had to be in a certain mood (you know that one where all taste leaves you and you laugh at anything).

Well, even though the theater was filled with 7 year olds we did laugh.  But....the best part of the movie wasn't the movie, it was the cartoon before the movie.  We didn't laugh at the cartoon, although it was cute.  The thing about the cartoon is that it brought back tons of wonderful memories.

I have loved the movies forever and one of the reasons I  have always loved them is just the experience of going to the movies, mostly with my sisters.   My mom or dad, usually my dad, used to drive us to the Fox Theater in Anaheim where we would look forward to getting our popcorn and our movie candy and sitting together to watch the movie. 

My dad would tell us that he would be back to pick us up when the movie was over and we knew he would, but we also knew that he would probably not be there precisely when the movie let out.  Those things are hard to time, right?

Whatever the movie was that we were going to watch, we knew that there would be cartoons first.  I think that was my favorite part of the experience.  I would laugh my head off at these crazy animals dropping anvils on each others heads.  It was funny.  It  might not be funny now because you have to content with all the animal rights people.  Don't get me wrong, I love animals and am all for animal rights, but cartoons, really?

Then the movie would come on and after the first movie, yes I said the first movie,  there would be more cartoons.  After the cartoons, there was always the second feature to enjoy.  You could spend the entire afternoon in the movie theater, which at that time seemed grand to me.  There was even a balcony, which we generally stayed away from, because we all knew what went on in the balcony!

Well, the movies would eventually be over and we would wander outside to wait for our dad.  There was a bench where we would sit and wait.   And to my way of thinking, we waited and waited and waited and he always seemed to be late, at least that's what my 11 year old mind thought.  I don't know if my sisters worried the way I did, that maybe he forgot about us and I didn't know what we would do.  This was a long time before cell phones.

Well, of course, he never forgot about us and I'm not even sure he was ever late.  That's just how I remember it.


You know that expression, "those were the days"?  Well those were the days!

Happiness

MY DAD IS HOME!!!!!!!

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Sticky Buddy, For Me?

Well, Valentine's Day has come and gone, but I still know that my husband loves me.  On that special day that we celebrate love my dear husband brought me home roses.  I love flowers.  But today he got on the phone and ordered me a Sticky Buddy, now, that's how I know he loves me.

We have two large dogs that shed....a lot.  And you will hear me complain about all the dog hair once and a while, even though I love our dogs!

I saw an infomercial a week or so ago for this Sticky Buddy.  It's amazing, really it is.  It picks up dog hair like nobodies business and all you have to do is rinse it off with water and it's ready to go again.  Can you believe that?

I was in town running some errands this morning and called  my husband to see if there was anything he needed, he couldn't talk because he was already on a call.  Turns out he was ordering my Sticky Buddy.

I love that man.  A Sticky Buddy, it will be the answers to all of my shedding dog hair problems.  No....not that man here holding the Sticky Buddy.  I mean my thoughtful husband.

Jumbo Shrimp?

On Valentine's Day, which was really nice, I was planning a nice shrimp dinner for my valentine.  However, our daughter invited us to her home for dinner so I ended up not cooking shrimp.

I'm thinking I may take that shrimp out of the freezer and cook it tonight.  But thinking about cooking shrimp for dinner got me thinking about...yup, shrimp.  On my bag of shrimp it says that it is jumbo shrimp.  Now I am not an expert in English that's for sure and if you have read anything that I've written you can attest to that!   But I do know what an oxymoron is and in my way of thinking jumbo shrimp is one.  By definition shrimp should be little, right?  So how can something that is supposed to be small be jumbo?  Is there any question why they say English is the hardest language to learn?  It certainly is full of crazy rules.

What about an original copy?  If it is a copy can it really be original?  I think not.  So how do you explain pretty ugly?  Either you are pretty or you are ugly, come on make up your mind.  You can't be both.  My daughter got a ticket for making a rolling stop at a stop sign.  Really?   If you are rolling you aren't actually at a stop, are you?  That's a confusing ticket.

Paid volunteers is another expression that causes me a little confusion.  How about civil war?  Have there ever been any wars that were civil. Can't think of any, can you?  I love that tv show the Walking Dead, it's about Zombies, love zombies!  I've heard zombies revered to as the living dead, now I'm pretty sure that that is not even in the realm of possibility.  You don't know something I don't, do you?  I've seen people walking around who certainly looked like they were dead, but I'm pretty sure they were among the land of the living.

When my children were small and didn't want to eat something that I had cooked for dinner I would, very sternly, tell them "well, I'm sorry but that's your only choice".  No wonder they looked at me like I had just spoken some alien language.  Only choice is really no choice at all.

Anyway, our lives are full of oxymorons.  Everywhere you look people are telling us things that make no sense.  But that's old news, isn't it?  And it will  always be a constant variable in our lives, so we just go on and act naturally as the clever fools try to tell you what to do.

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Winter, I Hope NOT

I'm sitting here trying to get up the gumption to clean out the fireplace and start a nice, cozy fire.  Our weather has turned a little wintry.  Imagine that, right in the middle of February too.  We have been enjoying such beautiful spring like weather that winter is a little hard to take right now and Phil says there's more winter to come.
Okay, I know I sound a little whiny and I'll try to stop.  I've been thinking of my options for the day.  I could sit here and surf the web, I could clean the house (my floors could stand a go over with the mop), I could watch all the great movies that they play on Scifi on Saturdays or, and I think I will choose this option, I could grab my husband and we could go to the movies.
One more thing I want to mention before we run off to town to the movies.....Ghost Hunters.  I love that show even though the last couple of years it has disappointed me somewhat.  The scare factor just doesn't seem to be there anymore.  Anyway, I still love it.  I tape the show on Wednesday and watch it all by myself on Friday night.  Well, last night on one of their  little spoilers they showed a teeny weeny little clip from next weeks show.  Anyone know what's going on with that?  There is big news to be shared and it has "rocked" the team to the core, they say.  The news has Steve crying and I don't like to see Steve cry. 
My husband thinks I'm just a little obsessed with "the team", but I've come to think of them as part of my tv viewing family....you can get really attached.  So now I am sitting on pins and needles waiting to see what the big news is, all sorts of horrible things are running through my very overactive imagination.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Horses, Just Big Dogs, Right?

My son and his family are going away for the weekend.  They have numerous dogs and cats and two horses.  I love dogs and I like cats but horses scare me to death.  I mean, really, have you seen how big they are?
Well, Steve and I are going to take care of them for the weekend.  And by take care of them I think I mean just throw the hay over the fence and let them have at it.  I'm too afraid to open the gate and go inside with them.  And besides, what if they overpower me and run out the gate?  I really don't think they will come back to my call of, "here horsey, horsey".
Now I have never had a traumatic experience concerning a horse, at least not that I can recall.  However it could have been so terrible that I simply blocked it from my memory.  I mean I even used to go horseback riding up at Shaver Lake.
I think, perhaps, the fear comes from the same place as my fear of roller coasters.  I used to love them but I am not real young anymore.  I wouldn't call myself old (even if others do) but I am more aware now of all the many ways someone can kick the bucket, so to speak.  And riding a roller coaster is just tempting fate.  Just like being too close to a 50 ton horse (do they come that big?).  I know now that there are a million things that could kill  me if I put myself in the wrong place at the wrong time and roller coasters and horses are just two of those dreaded things.
See, he's laughing at me.  He knows what he can do to me if he has a mind to.  Well, guess what Trigger, I'm not going to give you the chance!

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Worlds Dumbest


Okay, I know that the title of this blog is "Worlds Dumbest" and believe me, I am not calling Sonja dumb.  Sonja is not dumb, not by any stretch of the imagination.  But, while I was looking online for some pictures from the tv show, Worlds Dumbest, Sonja just sort of popped up.  And, honestly, how could I not use these pictures?  Have you seen Operation Repo?  Well, who doesn't love Sonja, or at least have a love hate relationship with her.  She is one mean mama!   I'm afraid that I've gotten off track however.  We'll get back to Sonja another time.  But before we leave her...how could you not admire a woman who can draw her eyebrows on with such precision?
Okay, on to the subject at hand, Worlds Dumbest.  I was at my mom's house in Oklahoma this last week.  My sister and her husband were there too.  One evening, when our busy day was done, we all sat down in front of the television for a little mindless entertainment.  Well, all we could find on tv was a marathon of Worlds Dumbest.  I love that show.  I'm not sure if that tells people that I am just not a very nice person, laughing at others misfortunes, or what.  But the way I look at it is, they must not mind you laughing at them or they wouldn't send in their videos.  What amazes me is that there are so many  dumb people in the world.   And, here in the U.S., we don't have a monopoly on dumb, although we do have our fair share, there are really dumb people all over the world.  Makes me feel a little bit better about us Americans.
We must have sat, mindlessly, in front of the tv for four hours.  Although that could be an exaggeration because I was having such a good time laughing at  all those dumb people, that I may have lost track of time. 

So, this is a salute to all the dumb people in the world.  I am grateful to you for sharing your misfortune with us, the viewing audience.  Thank you!
 

Money, The Root of all Evil

I know, I know.  It's not money itself that is evil, it's the love of money.  Well, I love money, I just don't have any money.
I've been thinking a lot about money lately, or lack of.  I've never had a lot of money, never even wanted a lot of money.  I've just always wanted enough money.
Now, the reason I've been thinking about this subject as of late is because my husband has an appointment tomorrow with the Social Security Office.  Just off the subject slightly for a second, what the heck do they mean by "social security"?  It's neither a social event nor will it give us a lot of security.  I think calling it social security is misleading.  Anyway, Steve will soon be 62 and he is entitled to his social security.
Don't get me wrong, I am grateful for this little bit of extra money that we will be getting in several months.  I am grateful that it will be enough to keep us in toilet paper and maybe a dinner out once a month.
The other thing is....when did we get old enough to collect social security?  I don't feel old enough to do that.
Well, shoot, now I'm thinking about my age.  Thinking about that is worse than thinking about money.  I think I'm going to quit now and go to bed or something, anywhere that I don't have to think about money or age.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Uh Huh

This has been the extent of my conversations (with a very brief respite when I actually spent some time with an adult) thus far today:  uh huh, that's great, yes, okay, it's so pretty, do you have to go to the bathroom?, no, you can't feed the dog your nutella sandwich, uh huh, yes, no, yes, no.
Today it's been my complete (except perhaps for the lack of three syllable words) pleasure of having my two most talkative grandchildren spend the day with me.  I adore them, but man can they talk.  And there is no way you can ignore them or just nod your head, that just wouldn't be nice.  So I respond to everything they say to me and hope I responded in the right way.  I think I need a nap!

Monday, January 16, 2012

The Remote and The Man

I adore my husband,  you should all know him.  He is funny - funny to me, weird to others, he is generous to a fault, he's very smart and he's the hardest worker that I know.
However.....I rue the day that he discovered the remote control all those many years ago.
There are two things that my husband is not. One, he is not electronically inclined (I know, I have no room to talk) and two, he has very little patience.
He holds the remote control and points it at the tv and he thinks that because the remote is pointed at the tv it should be doing what he wants it to do.  When the remote does not do what he wants it to do he rants that the stupid remote never works right.  It used to drive me nuts.  Now I just ask him to let me try and I do it with a smile on my face and and laughter begging to spew out of my mouth.  Now, I know that the remote is not working  for him because he is pressing the wrong button, but there is no telling him that because he knows that he is pressing the right button.
Well, when he hands me the remote and I press the "right" button and it actually works, I simply say, "sometimes it takes the receiver a little bit of time to catch up to the button".  Now, you and I know that makes no sense, but....he seems to like my explanation so I think I'll just keep using it (with a smile on my face).

Testing, 1,2,3, Testing

I know that this picture of Nurse Ratchet seems somewhat random, but when I wrote my blog the other day I had one heck of a time getting her picture attached.  In case you couldn't tell before, I'm sure you will be convinced now that I am really stupid, yes I said the S word, when it comes to computers.  I  have finally gotten brave enough to play around without being too afraid that I'm am going to damage the computer beyond repair.  So far, so good.  But, honestly sometimes it's takes me days to figure something out or remember how I did something yesterday, when yesterday it seemed so easy.  My daughters try to help me but I think they have finally decided that I am way beyond whatever help they can give me.  You know that saying, in one ear and out the other?  I am the epitome of that.  But, alas, I got my picture of Nurse Ratchet,  AKA Maggie, to make an appearance on my blog.  Hope you feel she was worth the wait (and the headache).  Oh, and by the way, Maggie doesn't smoke!  She's got the evil eye down pretty well though.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Hazard Foods

I think I was born to be a grandma.  It's my calling.  Each one of my nine grandchildren is a piece of my heart.  I would do anything for any one of them....except......
Our youngest grandchild is Aiden.  Aiden is 8 months old and the son of our youngest child.  Our youngest child and his wife are great parents, he is always overly cautious and she is very laid back, a perfect match.
This is where I have to apologize to our children, especially our youngest.  Unfortunately he got a lot of my traits.  He is a worrier, he worries about everything that could possibly go wrong.  If he calls his dad and me and we don't answer and we haven't told him that we were going someplace then the reason we don't answer is simple....we have been victims of a home invasion robbery and at this very moment we are being held at gunpoint by a deranged escaped felon.  We are tied up to kitchen chairs with twine that the robber found in the junk drawer.  We are gagged with neckties from the closet.
Our youngest picked up this trait from me after hearing the story of what has come to be known in our house  as "the marble incident".  Just thinking of "the marble incident", even 36 years later sends shivers down my spine.  That is definitely a story for another blog.  Because of this devastating event in our home my children were not allowed to eat raw vegetables until they were 12 years old.  That's not all they were not allowed to eat, here's a partial list of banned foods in our home, carrots, grapes, hot dogs, definitely hot dogs,  nuts, marshmallows, because, as I'm sure you are aware, they expand and get ginormous on their way down your throat.
So, why were they banned, you ask.   Duh!  The are choking hazards.
Choking, that's one of the paranoid traits that my sweet son was so lucky to get from me.  Again, I need to tell him that I am so sorry.
Any of our grandchildren who come to our house and are eating something, anything really (and honestly, I'd just prefer not to feed then anything but maybe fruit smoothies....at least they're healthy, right?) know the routine.  They are not allowed to eat unless I am right there to "protect" them from the choking foods.  The routine goes like this,  first cut up your food, I don't care if it's a raisin, into teeny, tiny, little pieces.  Chew your food until it resembles baby food,  no, that's not enough, chew some more.  They prefer to have Grandpa give them lunch, can't imagine why.
My fear of choking is why I was horrified when Aiden's mom brought him over for the day along with a bag of sliced apples.  Holy Cow, apples?  I can't feel feed him apples, he'll choke.
Now, she feeds him apples all of the time, he gnaws at them and he doesn't choke.  His mom knows what she is doing and I know that, but it doesn't make me feel any better about ME feeding him apples.
And I do know for a fact that he will NOT choke on my watch.  He won't choke because I have a stash of baby food in my pantry.  And when Aiden's mom brings him snacks over, like crackers or apples I eat them myself and just keep quiet.  I will probably do that until Aiden is old enough to rat me out.
Deceitful, you say.  Maybe.
Safe and hazard free?  You betcha!

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

My Own Nurse Ratchet

My husband and I were talking about our grandchildren just before we went to bed tonight and it got me thinking about something our 10, almost 11 year old grandson said to me the other day.
My dad is currently living in a nursing home where my mom visits him everyday and spends time with him.  He has been quite ill after suffering unexpected effects from hip surgery, but he is getting better.  For quite a while after I would speak to my mom and hear her reports on how my dad was doing I would hang up and cry.  It made me so sad to think of him in any way other then the way I have known him all my life, strong and capable.
Well, Ty (the 10 almost 11 year old) and I  were in the car on the way home from school on Monday and out of the blue he tells me, "Grandma, when you get old I'm never going to put you in a nursing home".   I was so touched by that and at the same time tried so hard not to laugh.  This whole ordeal with my dad's health issues has affected him deeply.  He has a very tender heart.
So, as of now I have two grandchildren who are going to look after me in my old age.  Maggie, who is my Nurse Ratchet, and I mean that in the most positive light possible.  Maggie is a smart, no nonsense girl who will not only take good care of me but she will also keep me laughing even as she is bossing me around and telling me what to do and what not to do.  There's not arguing with her because she knows what's best, I'm going to have to trust her on this.
Tylor is a whole other story.  He's going to be the one sneaking me in Zingers and telling me every detail about the last movie he saw or the book he read.  Believe when I tell you that he will leave no detail to the imagination.  It will be as if I had seen the movie or read the book.  He will be the one holding  my hand while Maggie is shoving medicine down my throat.
Every family needs a Maggie, she is the best.  And every family needs a Tylor, together I think they may keep me alive for a very long time (like it or not!).

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Pets: Who Needs Them?

I'll tell you who needs pets....everyone.  I just finished reading my daughters blog and she related how her dog Ralph got into an entire box of See's Chocolates.  Poor dog.  Poor Erin, no more chocolates for her.  Ralph, the dog, is fine.  I think he started feeling better after "ralphing" all over himself, Erin's bed, and poor Lulu, the chocolate (ha ha) lab.
Then this afternoon I'm talking to my sister, who has two Shitzus.  Really sweet dogs.  My sister was telling me about her trip to the groomer.  Apparently this dog is so spastic that the groomers refused to service her until she was under the influence of sedatives.  So, Kathy, my sister, had to take the dog to the vet to get her sedated.  According to the groomer, it didn't help.  I don't think the dog will be returning.
Now, my little incident.  We have two dogs and three cats.  Two of our cats stay mainly outside but the newest one is strictly an inside cat.  She's really pretty, but still a kitten.  So she's very playful and tries to run outside every time the door is opened.  On Sunday one of our son's dogs came down to visit, our kitten, Millie, doesn't like any dogs but her own.  
Millie had run outside earlier and she refused to come inside.  When she saw a dog that didn't belong to her she panicked and ran inside the mudroom and on top of the freezer, unbeknownst to us.  We would go out and call her and try to get her to come in but all we heard was a faint meow that made us think that she was under the porch, hiding.  Well, we had to go so we figured we could coax her in when we got home.
We got home late in the evening and called and called and heard an even fainter meow.  I saw the light bulb go on over Steve's head and he decided to look behind the freezer.  Sure enough, the cat had slid clear across the top of the freezer and landed head down behind it.  She had been hanging there for hours.
Poor little thing was shaking and had peed and pooped on herself but I was afraid to try to clean her up in case she was hurt.  So I bundled her up, made sure she had food and water and put her in a basket to sleep until morning. 
Well, I checked on her about every hour and after a couple of hours she started to give me this look.  It said, how could you have been so dense.  I called and called and you never came for me.  The look she gave me was total disdain.  Steve says it was my imagination, but I don't think so.
In the morning she's feeling much better, so I give her a bath.  She's clean and shiny and she smells good, but she still won't have anything to do with me.  She sits on Steve's lap and sneaks a nasty look at me every once in a while.  For now I am not her friend, but she'll come around when Steve's off working and I'm the only one home to feed her!

Monday, January 9, 2012

TV Viewing Supiority

Don't let the title of this post put you off.  I only felt superior in my tv viewing for one short night, and not even a whole night.
My husband and I had our 8 month old grandson yesterday, he is soooo cute.  We took him to church with us and at the end of the day took him home to his own crib, he sleeps much better at home.
Anyhow, we are generally there for several hours before our daughter-in-law gets home so we plop ourselves in front of the tv and see what's on.
You should keep in mind that my tv viewing is not terribly discriminating, I watch a huge variety of stuff.  I love all the shows with the Cajun swamp people who you can only understand because they close caption their conversations.  I love the horrible hoarding shows where you have to make sure you don't have a ham sandwich or any type of food in your hand while you are watching.  I love the "housewives", not all of them, but most.  The shows where they take teens to jail to scare the crap out of them, love em.
So, it may baffle you when I tell you that after seeing what was on the DVR at my son and daughter-in-laws house I felt a twinge of superiority.  You know, that feeling when you say to yourself, how can they possibly watch that garbage?  Never seen Jersey Shore, it was on the DVR.  So we watch a couple of minutes before we could stand it no more.  Then we flipped over to Khloe and Kim (or somebody) take New York.  Oh my goodness, don't those girls have anything better to do with their lives?
Well, I have decided that we all have our guilty pleasures, who am I to judge someone else's tv viewing.  I won't if you won't!

Sunday, January 1, 2012

New Year Quote

"Be always at war with your vices, at peace with our neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man (or woman)"
Benjamin Franklin

Desperate For A Haircut

I wear my hair very short, I love it very short.  And as anyone with short hair can tell you, the minute you can feel the back of your hair on your collar it's past time to get a haircut.
Now, I have been going to the same girl for a lot of years.  We started out together at Cost Cutters (I don't like to spend much on my haircuts!).  Then I followed her over to her own shop in town.  My haircutting girl's name is Alicia.  She is from Columbia.....a Columbia that you couldn't pay me to visit.  I'm not sure what part of Columbia she grew up in but I do know that it's the part with a lot of corrupt officials and a lot of drug cartels, at least I think that's what she said.  She has a very thick accent and I am not good with accents.  So I have to listen very hard when she talks and that is the entire time she is cutting my hair. So she could actually be from the part of Columbia where there are a lot of  colorful offices and a lot of bug cartons.  I'm not really sure.
The thing is, she does not take appointments.  It's all walk in.  Well, whenever I walk in she is never there.  So Friday was the last straw.  I was going to a family party Friday night and I felt like I looked, I don't know, maybe matronly?  I feel younger when my hair is cut short I guess.  So I drive into town way past the time that Alicia says she opens for business and guess what?  Again, no Alicia.  So I sit in my car for a few minutes trying to decide if I want to hang around town and hope she shows up.  Well, I don't.  I had things to do. 
I get on the phone and call my daughter.  My daughter cuts her husbands hair all of the time, so I ask if she is willing to cut  mine.  She's a little nervous but very willing to do it, so I drive on out and sit in the "haircutting" chair while she gets out the implements, meaning scissors and stuff.
The process takes about an hour or so and I come away with a fantastic haircut.  I LOVE it.  I have always said that Alicia is the only one who cuts my hair exactly as I want it cut every time.  But  that's no longer the case.
I have to tell you, though, that before Rachel agreed to cut my hair she told me that her husbands father would probably be glad to cut my hair.  After all he recently took the clippers to his wives hair and when I saw her at Christmas her hair looked great. However, before that time she was wearing a wig to hide the haircut for about a month.  I declined the offer.  I don't own a wig.