Thursday, February 16, 2012

Jumbo Shrimp?

On Valentine's Day, which was really nice, I was planning a nice shrimp dinner for my valentine.  However, our daughter invited us to her home for dinner so I ended up not cooking shrimp.

I'm thinking I may take that shrimp out of the freezer and cook it tonight.  But thinking about cooking shrimp for dinner got me thinking about...yup, shrimp.  On my bag of shrimp it says that it is jumbo shrimp.  Now I am not an expert in English that's for sure and if you have read anything that I've written you can attest to that!   But I do know what an oxymoron is and in my way of thinking jumbo shrimp is one.  By definition shrimp should be little, right?  So how can something that is supposed to be small be jumbo?  Is there any question why they say English is the hardest language to learn?  It certainly is full of crazy rules.

What about an original copy?  If it is a copy can it really be original?  I think not.  So how do you explain pretty ugly?  Either you are pretty or you are ugly, come on make up your mind.  You can't be both.  My daughter got a ticket for making a rolling stop at a stop sign.  Really?   If you are rolling you aren't actually at a stop, are you?  That's a confusing ticket.

Paid volunteers is another expression that causes me a little confusion.  How about civil war?  Have there ever been any wars that were civil. Can't think of any, can you?  I love that tv show the Walking Dead, it's about Zombies, love zombies!  I've heard zombies revered to as the living dead, now I'm pretty sure that that is not even in the realm of possibility.  You don't know something I don't, do you?  I've seen people walking around who certainly looked like they were dead, but I'm pretty sure they were among the land of the living.

When my children were small and didn't want to eat something that I had cooked for dinner I would, very sternly, tell them "well, I'm sorry but that's your only choice".  No wonder they looked at me like I had just spoken some alien language.  Only choice is really no choice at all.

Anyway, our lives are full of oxymorons.  Everywhere you look people are telling us things that make no sense.  But that's old news, isn't it?  And it will  always be a constant variable in our lives, so we just go on and act naturally as the clever fools try to tell you what to do.

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