Thursday, April 29, 2010

The Four Way Stop Hand Wave

One of my biggest driving pet peeves is that four way stop sign hand wave. You know the one. At least two of you get to the stop sign nearly the same time, but you were paying attention, you know who's turn it is to go. You got there last so you wait. But no one goes. So you wait . Still one one moves.....until that driver waves you through the intersection like he has "the power". Well, who is he ,anyway, to tell you when to go when you already know that it's his turn, not yours?

Worse yet, though, is that driver who gets to the intersection after you do. It's your turn, you know it is. But you are a safe driver you wait a second just to make sure no cars are screeching through the intersection. Still, he gives you that hand wave that says I have the power to make you go even though you already know it's your turn.

Next time I get that hand wave I'm not going anywhere. I am going to open my book and get those cookies and soda out of my grocery bag and wait for everyone else to decide who's turn it is.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Janie Loves Ice Cream

One of the really great things about being a grandma is that you can get away with a lot of stuff. Your children will forgive you for doing what you know you shouldn't do when they see how cute their children are doing that thing that you shouldn't really let them do. My new mantra is, "Well, no one got hurt".

There Really Is Such a Thing As Perfect Children

You know, it is true, there really is such a thing as perfect children. The perfectly behaved children never happen to be your own. The perfect children are almost always belong to someone else. In this case the perfect children are my grandchildren.
We have had two of our grandsons staying with us while their parents were out of town and with the exception of a few brotherly spats they got along well and did what was asked of them. They were a joy to be around.
BUT....there are a few things that I forgot that children in your care need. For instance, did you know that children expect to be fed at least 3 times a day? More likely they want to be fed all day. It's kind of like having two of those pot bellied pigs living in your house. The good thing, though, is that boys will eat almost anything, and of course, everything in their line of sight. But, not only in their line of sight, they can sniff things out like you can't believe. My selfishly hidden treats are not safe when the boys are in the house.
Here's the other thing. You have to make sure they take showers. I have nothing against showering, I do it regularly myself. But, I'm not sure I like being responsible for making sure someone else does it too.
And did you know that if you use every single lego in the house you can build a tower that reaches the ceiling? Okay, that is fun. But, apparently I was expected to keep it up as part of my decor. Those of you who know me will not be surprised when you learn that I stood it for about 30 minutes (that's a long time for me) and then I had to disassemble it. So when the boys come back into the house and see that it's gone they are naturally very disappointed. What do I do? I blame it on Grandpa, who didn't really know that it was suppose to stay up and who I haven't actually seen in the last several hours. I think he's been hiding.
Well, the frosting on the cake. Emma, Eliza and Jane came for dinner after church. Oh yes, and so did their parents. Well, guess who was the first person that Janie ran to when she came in the door. Yup, me!
And the cherry on the frosting on the cake, next month I get to go and visit our other perfect grandchildren
I am so glad that it doesn't take a perfect grandma to have perfect grandhchildren.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Rethinking the Census

Okay, I filled out and mailed the second census form that came to our house. Enough said.

Wait and See, Otherwise Known as Jury Duty

LOVE , love, love jury duty, usually. When I got my invitation in the mail to attend a gathering, I was so excited. Also attending this event would be many types of people from the far away lands of exotic Kern County.

I've told you before how much I love to snoop, watch and listen. What better place to do that than a jury waiting room (well, there is the airport, a doctors waiting room and a zillion other places where the funny and weird gather)?

I arrive early, check in and wait with childlike anticipation. I find a seat and start my watching. Imagine my disappointment when I realize that I am surrounded by a sea of normality. I change my seat, still no luck. So I sit for awhile waiting and hoping to spot someone worthy of watching and/or eavesdropping on. Still no one catches my attention.

I change seats one more time-time is on my side since I will, in all probability, be sitting in this very room until 4:00 this afternoon.

Okay, I think I've hit paydirt. Sitting at the table directly across from me is my sister-in-law. Well, not literally, but if I closed my eyes, unable to see the rotund 300 pound lady it could be my sister-in-law. She has not stopped talking, she has barely taken a breath. She even seems to be sweating from the exertion of having this one way conversation with the two women at her table.

Darn, I hate it when that little guilt devil starts poking you with his pitchfork! I'm feeling a little bad; her audience seems to have deserted her and she looked my way and smiled with a look that said, "wanna be my friend?" I smile, I smile at everyone: it's this automatic thing that my face does when someone looks at me. Then I turn my face back to the boring book I brought with me (that's a whole other story).

My lonely "sister-in-law" goes in search of a new audience. Oh, but wait, here come her old friends. They were just out at the vending machines getting food so they could fortify themselves for the next round of conversation.