Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Do It Yourself or, as it is known in our house, Are You Crazy?

"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits"

Albert Einstein

Have I mentioned before that I am a diy-er? I love working with my hands and I love doing projects around the house. I tell myself that it's in my blood. My dad is a "builder", he can build anything. When there is something that needs to be done around the house I like to do it myself, partly because I want it done right now, I'm rather impatient.

But, alas, my memory is short. I tend to forget about the last project and the one before that one that went awry.

So, to my present project. Earlier this year our "handyman guy" built us some floor to ceiling bookshelves (I'm pretty sure I could have done it myself). I have since decided that I need more storage space, I always need more storage space, where I could hide things away. So on goes the lightbulb in my head and I figure that I could put doors on the bottom part of the bookshelf. It would look pretty and give me my much needed storage space. Easy, right? Anyone could do it, right? I can do that, right?

Okay, so out comes my measuring tape, I really don't know why I bother with that thing, it never works right.

I measure and mark and have Steve set up the table saw. Oh my, sorry, I just broke out in a cold sweat. Just saying Steve and table saw in the same breath sends shivers down my spine.

You really have to know Steve, he can do a lot of things. Carpentry is not one of them. He's a shortcut kind of guy whose mantra is "good enough". Sorry honey, using warped wood that you rescued from the dump is not "good enough".

However, I let him use the warped dump wood because I know that his cuts are not going to be quite what they should be and I will have to go to Home Depot and buy real wood anyway. And what the heck, the practice wouldn't hurt, would it?

Where was I? Oh yes, he set up the saw, on the ground. On the ground we have lots of gravel. Steve is wearing sandals, and I should mention that he has his 6'4" frame bent over the saw. He is, very carefully, pushing the wood through the blade, when his foot slips.

This is the scenario that plays out in my head in a span of seconds:

Steve slips, his head makes contact with the blade. It's like a scene out of a slasher movie except for the fact that we don't have a villain. He's screaming and I am standing unable to move for several seconds. I finally rip off my shirt, not to worry, I dressed in layers today, and press it to his head.

Okay, I'm going back to that happy place where none of these things happened, happy thoughts, happy thoughts!

After my little "mind movie", DIY as taken on a new meaning for me.

The only thing I am going to do myself now, when it comes to power tools, is call someone whose expectations of themselves do not exceed their abilities. Well, at least until the next project comes along that I KNOW I can do.


  1. You totally crack me up!!! Keep writing! It's so entertaining and fun!

  2. I had flashbacks from my youth as I read your words. Sandals, really? Was he wearing socks with them?