Thursday, February 23, 2012

Clear As Glass

I woke up this morning, looked out my bedroom window and was thrilled to see the sun shining (I got up a little later than usual today).  I love sunshine, especially in the middle of winter.

As the day went on I started to notice that it was a little dark in my house and was disappointed that the clouds must have come out and hidden the warm sun. 

Well, I went about my business cleaning floors and lots of other things around my house when I got the windex and paper towels out to clean some windows.  And it dawned on me that the opaque  windows in my french doors in the living room weren't suppose to be opaque.  I'm sure I noticed at one time that they were clear, at least I think I did.  No, I'm pretty sure they were suppose to be clear.  Hence the darkened room. 

Now let me explain to you why my clear windows are opaque or, if you demand accuracy.....dirty.

We have a hundred pound hound dog who thinks he is one of our children.  He tries to sit in our laps, he begs for food and he definitely has attitude.  When I am cleaning the house I like for him to be outside, otherwise he is always under foot.  He would much rather be where the action is, inside with us.  So he literally knocks on the door with his paw.  Well, actually he scratches at the door very loudly.  And if that doesn't work he sits at the french doors with his nose pressed against the glass looking rather pathetic.  And if that doesn't work, he rubs his nose all over the glass panes.

I guess it's been a while since I cleaned that glass (I have to do it daily) so this afternoon it appeared that it was dark outside, when actually the sun was high in the sky and bright.

Now, this may be a slight exaggeration, but it just went to remind me that I either have to let the dog in the house or clean my doors much more often.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Those Were The Days

Steve and I went to the movies the other day to see a silly little movie that didn't get very good reviews.  Well, we don't always put too  much store in the reviews, we like what we like.  And, yes, this movie wasn't for everyone.  I think you had to be in a certain mood (you know that one where all taste leaves you and you laugh at anything).

Well, even though the theater was filled with 7 year olds we did laugh.  But....the best part of the movie wasn't the movie, it was the cartoon before the movie.  We didn't laugh at the cartoon, although it was cute.  The thing about the cartoon is that it brought back tons of wonderful memories.

I have loved the movies forever and one of the reasons I  have always loved them is just the experience of going to the movies, mostly with my sisters.   My mom or dad, usually my dad, used to drive us to the Fox Theater in Anaheim where we would look forward to getting our popcorn and our movie candy and sitting together to watch the movie. 

My dad would tell us that he would be back to pick us up when the movie was over and we knew he would, but we also knew that he would probably not be there precisely when the movie let out.  Those things are hard to time, right?

Whatever the movie was that we were going to watch, we knew that there would be cartoons first.  I think that was my favorite part of the experience.  I would laugh my head off at these crazy animals dropping anvils on each others heads.  It was funny.  It  might not be funny now because you have to content with all the animal rights people.  Don't get me wrong, I love animals and am all for animal rights, but cartoons, really?

Then the movie would come on and after the first movie, yes I said the first movie,  there would be more cartoons.  After the cartoons, there was always the second feature to enjoy.  You could spend the entire afternoon in the movie theater, which at that time seemed grand to me.  There was even a balcony, which we generally stayed away from, because we all knew what went on in the balcony!

Well, the movies would eventually be over and we would wander outside to wait for our dad.  There was a bench where we would sit and wait.   And to my way of thinking, we waited and waited and waited and he always seemed to be late, at least that's what my 11 year old mind thought.  I don't know if my sisters worried the way I did, that maybe he forgot about us and I didn't know what we would do.  This was a long time before cell phones.

Well, of course, he never forgot about us and I'm not even sure he was ever late.  That's just how I remember it.

You know that expression, "those were the days"?  Well those were the days!



Thursday, February 16, 2012

Sticky Buddy, For Me?

Well, Valentine's Day has come and gone, but I still know that my husband loves me.  On that special day that we celebrate love my dear husband brought me home roses.  I love flowers.  But today he got on the phone and ordered me a Sticky Buddy, now, that's how I know he loves me.

We have two large dogs that shed....a lot.  And you will hear me complain about all the dog hair once and a while, even though I love our dogs!

I saw an infomercial a week or so ago for this Sticky Buddy.  It's amazing, really it is.  It picks up dog hair like nobodies business and all you have to do is rinse it off with water and it's ready to go again.  Can you believe that?

I was in town running some errands this morning and called  my husband to see if there was anything he needed, he couldn't talk because he was already on a call.  Turns out he was ordering my Sticky Buddy.

I love that man.  A Sticky Buddy, it will be the answers to all of my shedding dog hair problems.  No....not that man here holding the Sticky Buddy.  I mean my thoughtful husband.

Jumbo Shrimp?

On Valentine's Day, which was really nice, I was planning a nice shrimp dinner for my valentine.  However, our daughter invited us to her home for dinner so I ended up not cooking shrimp.

I'm thinking I may take that shrimp out of the freezer and cook it tonight.  But thinking about cooking shrimp for dinner got me thinking about...yup, shrimp.  On my bag of shrimp it says that it is jumbo shrimp.  Now I am not an expert in English that's for sure and if you have read anything that I've written you can attest to that!   But I do know what an oxymoron is and in my way of thinking jumbo shrimp is one.  By definition shrimp should be little, right?  So how can something that is supposed to be small be jumbo?  Is there any question why they say English is the hardest language to learn?  It certainly is full of crazy rules.

What about an original copy?  If it is a copy can it really be original?  I think not.  So how do you explain pretty ugly?  Either you are pretty or you are ugly, come on make up your mind.  You can't be both.  My daughter got a ticket for making a rolling stop at a stop sign.  Really?   If you are rolling you aren't actually at a stop, are you?  That's a confusing ticket.

Paid volunteers is another expression that causes me a little confusion.  How about civil war?  Have there ever been any wars that were civil. Can't think of any, can you?  I love that tv show the Walking Dead, it's about Zombies, love zombies!  I've heard zombies revered to as the living dead, now I'm pretty sure that that is not even in the realm of possibility.  You don't know something I don't, do you?  I've seen people walking around who certainly looked like they were dead, but I'm pretty sure they were among the land of the living.

When my children were small and didn't want to eat something that I had cooked for dinner I would, very sternly, tell them "well, I'm sorry but that's your only choice".  No wonder they looked at me like I had just spoken some alien language.  Only choice is really no choice at all.

Anyway, our lives are full of oxymorons.  Everywhere you look people are telling us things that make no sense.  But that's old news, isn't it?  And it will  always be a constant variable in our lives, so we just go on and act naturally as the clever fools try to tell you what to do.

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Winter, I Hope NOT

I'm sitting here trying to get up the gumption to clean out the fireplace and start a nice, cozy fire.  Our weather has turned a little wintry.  Imagine that, right in the middle of February too.  We have been enjoying such beautiful spring like weather that winter is a little hard to take right now and Phil says there's more winter to come.
Okay, I know I sound a little whiny and I'll try to stop.  I've been thinking of my options for the day.  I could sit here and surf the web, I could clean the house (my floors could stand a go over with the mop), I could watch all the great movies that they play on Scifi on Saturdays or, and I think I will choose this option, I could grab my husband and we could go to the movies.
One more thing I want to mention before we run off to town to the movies.....Ghost Hunters.  I love that show even though the last couple of years it has disappointed me somewhat.  The scare factor just doesn't seem to be there anymore.  Anyway, I still love it.  I tape the show on Wednesday and watch it all by myself on Friday night.  Well, last night on one of their  little spoilers they showed a teeny weeny little clip from next weeks show.  Anyone know what's going on with that?  There is big news to be shared and it has "rocked" the team to the core, they say.  The news has Steve crying and I don't like to see Steve cry. 
My husband thinks I'm just a little obsessed with "the team", but I've come to think of them as part of my tv viewing can get really attached.  So now I am sitting on pins and needles waiting to see what the big news is, all sorts of horrible things are running through my very overactive imagination.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Horses, Just Big Dogs, Right?

My son and his family are going away for the weekend.  They have numerous dogs and cats and two horses.  I love dogs and I like cats but horses scare me to death.  I mean, really, have you seen how big they are?
Well, Steve and I are going to take care of them for the weekend.  And by take care of them I think I mean just throw the hay over the fence and let them have at it.  I'm too afraid to open the gate and go inside with them.  And besides, what if they overpower me and run out the gate?  I really don't think they will come back to my call of, "here horsey, horsey".
Now I have never had a traumatic experience concerning a horse, at least not that I can recall.  However it could have been so terrible that I simply blocked it from my memory.  I mean I even used to go horseback riding up at Shaver Lake.
I think, perhaps, the fear comes from the same place as my fear of roller coasters.  I used to love them but I am not real young anymore.  I wouldn't call myself old (even if others do) but I am more aware now of all the many ways someone can kick the bucket, so to speak.  And riding a roller coaster is just tempting fate.  Just like being too close to a 50 ton horse (do they come that big?).  I know now that there are a million things that could kill  me if I put myself in the wrong place at the wrong time and roller coasters and horses are just two of those dreaded things.
See, he's laughing at me.  He knows what he can do to me if he has a mind to.  Well, guess what Trigger, I'm not going to give you the chance!

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Worlds Dumbest

Okay, I know that the title of this blog is "Worlds Dumbest" and believe me, I am not calling Sonja dumb.  Sonja is not dumb, not by any stretch of the imagination.  But, while I was looking online for some pictures from the tv show, Worlds Dumbest, Sonja just sort of popped up.  And, honestly, how could I not use these pictures?  Have you seen Operation Repo?  Well, who doesn't love Sonja, or at least have a love hate relationship with her.  She is one mean mama!   I'm afraid that I've gotten off track however.  We'll get back to Sonja another time.  But before we leave could you not admire a woman who can draw her eyebrows on with such precision?
Okay, on to the subject at hand, Worlds Dumbest.  I was at my mom's house in Oklahoma this last week.  My sister and her husband were there too.  One evening, when our busy day was done, we all sat down in front of the television for a little mindless entertainment.  Well, all we could find on tv was a marathon of Worlds Dumbest.  I love that show.  I'm not sure if that tells people that I am just not a very nice person, laughing at others misfortunes, or what.  But the way I look at it is, they must not mind you laughing at them or they wouldn't send in their videos.  What amazes me is that there are so many  dumb people in the world.   And, here in the U.S., we don't have a monopoly on dumb, although we do have our fair share, there are really dumb people all over the world.  Makes me feel a little bit better about us Americans.
We must have sat, mindlessly, in front of the tv for four hours.  Although that could be an exaggeration because I was having such a good time laughing at  all those dumb people, that I may have lost track of time. 

So, this is a salute to all the dumb people in the world.  I am grateful to you for sharing your misfortune with us, the viewing audience.  Thank you!

Money, The Root of all Evil

I know, I know.  It's not money itself that is evil, it's the love of money.  Well, I love money, I just don't have any money.
I've been thinking a lot about money lately, or lack of.  I've never had a lot of money, never even wanted a lot of money.  I've just always wanted enough money.
Now, the reason I've been thinking about this subject as of late is because my husband has an appointment tomorrow with the Social Security Office.  Just off the subject slightly for a second, what the heck do they mean by "social security"?  It's neither a social event nor will it give us a lot of security.  I think calling it social security is misleading.  Anyway, Steve will soon be 62 and he is entitled to his social security.
Don't get me wrong, I am grateful for this little bit of extra money that we will be getting in several months.  I am grateful that it will be enough to keep us in toilet paper and maybe a dinner out once a month.
The other thing is....when did we get old enough to collect social security?  I don't feel old enough to do that.
Well, shoot, now I'm thinking about my age.  Thinking about that is worse than thinking about money.  I think I'm going to quit now and go to bed or something, anywhere that I don't have to think about money or age.