Shelby

First of all, my apologies to my beautiful niece Shelby.  I'm sorry you share the same name as Shelby from Ax Men.  Believe me when I tell you that the two of you have NOTHING in common.
But, thank you Ax Man, Shelby, for supplying me with my favorite quote of my tv viewing evening.  Sure hope I can get the spelling correct:
"Disbranded crazone donegit holdasumpin"      Shelby, Ax Men
Just a little background on Shelby in case you don't watch Ax Men; another of my favorite reality tv shows.  Shelby works in Louisiana in the bayou dredging big dead trees that he sells.  He rarely works alone, thanks to his dozens of cousins who work with him.  However, the same cousin never seems to work with him twice.  His cousins are a little, I guess you could say, odd. 
There is a man that Shelby says is former Special Forces who seems to be poaching Shelby's trees.  He tried to kill Shelby, yes, I mean really kill him, last week with a bow and arrow.  He barely missed his head.  Tonight he threatened Shelby with a machete.  Well, it turns out that crazy guy is another of Shelby's cousins.  Go figure.